I decided to start with my typical weekday’s events.

 

5.00 am: Phone alarm. wtf… how soon? I switch it off.

 

5.15 am: Clock alarm, aaaaaaaih I should not have gotten that high yesterday given that today is a Monday….

 

5.20am: Phone alarm again (I usually set two alarms just in case…) …now I must wake up. Puts the stereo on. Yawns, and then scratches balls. It amazes me to see Mr. President  exited every morning for no reason at all…..this should be the  8^th Wonder of the world.

 

5.25am: Cold shower…..humming incoherently to my favorite track playing from the stereo. At least now, the cobwebs in my head have reduced.

 

5.55am: Already dressed up, goes to catch a mat.

 

6.00am:  “Pepwa, pepa sitini tao, wawili twende.” One rainy day I gave him a hundred bob akarudisha ten bob. Upon enquiring, he said “nilisema tisini.” Nowadays I listen carefully.I have never understood why these people keep saying wawili twende, when even the dumbest person can see no one is inside.

 

6.15 to 7.15am : Am enjoying the music and of course Maina and King’ang’i as they do their stuff. How comes every mat on our route is tuned on to classic in the morning? I also like the mama on a mini next to me…..why did she wear it if she knew she would not be comfortable in it ?…..the way she is trying to have it cover the thighs inaeza raruka.

 

7.25am: Chai na mandazi mbili….between 1^st and around 15^th I usually add a samosa ama sausage.

 

7.30am: Opens my yahoo and facebooks a bit and some googling about this and that before mdosi aingie aanze kunistress.

 

10.00am: Office tea, as usual its suffering from milk deficiency. “Mboiz hukulipa ile shapo ya Friday na thabutha  ya Thursday” Mathee handas me as I try to persuade her to top up my debt with a mandazi. “Mazee nakucheki before Friday….. I promise” I assure her as she hands me the ndao…All my debtors must pay back before then before she tells me she’s in a chit next week.

 

1.00pm: My extension rings, It is my colleague. “Am hungry, si we go for lunch bana” he says trying to suppress a yawn. “Ok, am just replying to an email, let me get you downstairs in 5 minutes”

 

1.30pm: The chapo ndondo is fine. The conversation is about the current Olympics and how many medals we will get this time round. I am amazed at how daft I am on Kenyan athletics. I don’t know any Kenyan who will be representing us… shindwe!!!

 

4.30pm: I am already tired. “Its only four days to the weekend” I console myself. The boss excuses himself…as usual he has a few errands in Town. When I grow up, I want to be a boss….or an MP.

 

5.30pm: A repeat of 6.00am, only that the venue is in Town.

 

7.00pm: Tries to think of how to avoid cooking, the dishes are dirty. I am broke, so am not lucky, I should not have invited the mboiz for lunch yesterday.

 

9.01pm: After the headlines, I mute the TV and tune in to top nine at nine with Eve D’Souza as I hungrily wipe out the contents on my plate. I have listened to her…since I was in high school during preps.

 

10.00pm: Belches twice…scrolls phone book to find who will listen to my lyrical sweet nothings…Now am missing female company. Yawns….scratches balls. I do not do this in public like some people. Some guys put their hands in the pocket and then do it thinking no one will see . Style up…rush to the gents

 

10.20pm: Prays…..how comes I never forget praying before sleeping but easily forget to do so when I wake up.

 

 

On my playlist:

Lifestyle by Kantai