Posted by: mboizmnoma | March 23, 2009


So am walking along Tom Mboya, minding my own business as usual, thinking how I’ll lay that eastlando chiq I’ve just pushed to pick up a Nissan Hiace Matatu.(namba 58 to be precise). Since it is a weekday and I miraculously somehow have cash, why cant’ I just pay those damn Kenya Power guys? – it’s been quite sometime since they heard from me – and again my account is overdue or so they had indicated in the previous bill! I think to myself. Now am just near Posta Tom Mboya. I don’t like making abrupt about turns, instead I stop and pretend to window shop for a phone (like many idlers colleagues) – I see a Nokia N95 – its damn cheap (8K ni cheap na venye ina features kibao kama yule manzi nimetoka kupush!!, ) On a closer look, I discover that its one of those fake ones from China. (yaani its Nokla – they have just remove the (i) and replaced it with (l)). I pity the guy who is busy bargaining – hii ni Nairobi acha agongwe apate kichwa I think to myself as I now start heading back to where I came from..

Fast forward – just near Odeon Cinema, I cross to where Mat number 34 – (that stretch with those Mats to highridge, agha khan, umo, buru e.t.c ) are usually picked so that I cross to the other side of the street. Then wonders of wonders, bullshiet of shiets happens! Mwizi, mwizi! Ngai fafa – that one must have been robbed loads of cash! I say to myself aloud. I turn around to see wtf is going on. A woman is in her heels towards my direction! No, no whoever the thief is didn’t come this way I almost shout. Then before I know it, a push, the push becomes a shove…. Right before me lies a handbag without one strap; the woman is holding the remaining strap! She is accompanied at least three other persons! It dawns on me that am the alleged thief and they are after my a$$. The last handbag I touched and stole any money was my moms back when I had just completed Form 4 and needed to veveka miraa and some cigarettes. Things can happen fast this side of the world – I try to think but am blank. A man pushes me towards a path between two parked matatus and tries to get in to my pocket.

I push him hard and he stumbles – nearly falling. The woman starts bluffing something to the effect that I bribe her or she calls the public! Kumbe it’s a set up! The general public seems less interested – I dare her and push her hard. She staggers towards her ‘stolen’ bag and picks it and disappears! Her colleagues follow suit – probably in search of their next ‘customer’. I sigh, say some fcuks, then Kajwang (aaaaaai yawa) and am off to my business!

Please beware – ukiona wao kaa ngumu kama Gumo! They will give up and disappear.

Any other Business

If you have worked around Upperhill or anywhere near KNH, you most definitely have had the pleasure of visiting Pronto – some mabati and wooden structures that serve very affordable meals. Over the weekend, some city kanjo askaris flattened the whole place like they did to Nakumatt Thika Rd! This was the only place I could get githeri, chapati, madodo, ndengu, wet beef fry, chemsa, boilo, ugali, fiss(like my boy Oti calls it), rice, mukimo, mix(of anything) and any other indigenous food. Now it is gone! Where else do they want us to go – Visa place, Upperhill Springs or Shobeen? Never – I have always liked Mabati establishments, they are so pocket friendly esp during this hard times!



  1. What a life in this city!!! Today I see the Nation is reporting that cops have revealed the hotspots for muggers! WTF?!? Why not stake out and arrest all the damn muggers instead of crying out like you are helpless.

    Anyways, the other day I went to see a dentist Dr. Mwinzi. Based on how much he charged me, I will be shouting ‘Mwinzi! Mwinzi!’ next time I see him on the street.

    LOL @mwinzi! i pity this dude

  2. Duh, thugs in Nai are now resorting to anything eeh? Good to know this new trick, I will be wary when I land those sides. Pole bro, as for madondo, tell me when you discover a new haven.

    maisha ngumu! so they resort to anything

  3. That was scary man. Damn! They could get you lynched! This city is evil! Iza joh and good luck on that Eastlando. Kwa mtaa tumedevice jina mpia ya mahotie wahuko. Tunawaita eastlands anthem kaa ile ngoma ya walanguzi. Akipita boy mmoja anawika “Waaah, hiyo ni eastlands anthem joh!”

    i know that track!! its timam

    The Nokla is such a hit by the way and its very hard to convince a proud owner that it aint a Nokia. That N95 doesnt even have a browser!

    i almost fell for it!

    Whenever I am around upperhill during lunch time, I go to this place near the library I dont know its name but that joint has the best of choma, fis, kuku kienyeji you can have. I hope it aint the one.

    am told its gone too!!

    Seems like its time for you to discover some new joint. The Mess at Kenyatta not bad either or new the showroom called Ado-bro there is a kajoint

  4. Waaah! That’s some pretty nasty shit right there! I never knew of that stingo by thugs nowadays. Pole bana, but atleast yo easy.

  5. That was crazy!! These muggers are getting craftier I agree.

    Ati pronto is gone? I loved that place. For the 3 years or so I worked in upper hill, I had lunch there.

  6. Mabati establishments serve the best food…check out campus surroundings!

    Pole for your woes, at least you got away.

    And as for the Nokia N95, I discovered it was fake after I bought first I could not believe I had gotten one for so cheap, it sounded like a good deal.

  7. Lucky u didnt get mobbed lol!

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